Monday, November 27, 2006

 

XYZ

So, you’re all clamoring for the “commando” story. But I’ve got nothing in terms of photos or video. Just let me say that pants with more than one button and a zipper confound me. Let’s just leave it at that.

I will, however, offer you a similar story with less embarrassing implications for me…

Several years ago, I was sitting in a BART station with some friends. We were crawling home from a day of Chinese food and beer in the North Beach section of San Francisco. There we all sat, along with a group of locals and tourists waiting for the next train to arrive. Close to the tracks, these stood a beautiful young woman in a business casual pencil skirt and sensible heels. Next to her, there was a tall, gawky gentleman in a lab coat. He had his 10-speed in his right hand and was gesticulating with his left hand. One of his pants-legs was tucked into his socks. She was, surprisingly, interested in him.

That would have been the end of my, and anyone’s, interest in the labcoat guy. Then, the man turned to the left. The fly of his trousers was clearly down. He’d tucked his button-down into said pants. And the tail of his button-down was sticking out of his fly. Largely.

For a while, I was the only one who seemed to notice. Being the bitch that I am, I pointed it out to my friends. While we waited for the train, everyone else in the station slowly began to notice. There was an extended family from South America that was catching it all on their video camera. Shortly thereafter, the beautiful young woman looked down briefly. The utter horror showed in her face.

The train arrived, and we all got aboard. Everyone in the train was staring at the man’s crotch, but he only had eyes for the beautiful young lady. Eventually, they both deboarded, and everyone smiled awkwardly.

To this day, I feel horrible about the whole debacle. Should I have said something? I can only think it would have made things worse. How could he have recovered from the embarrassment? Would it have been any better than arriving home alone to realize he’d had a white rabbit peeking out from his crotch? Then again, the whole episode still makes me smile. Does that make me a horrible person. More importantly, do I care?

Comments:
Oh dear. The white rabbit. How could he not have noticed? HOW?

That poor man. I probably wouldn't have said anything either. You know, for fear of embarrassing him. Odd logic, but it FEELS sensible!
 
A very wise man once told me, "The funny outweighs the mean". And that, my dear Stampy, is fuckin' funny!
 
Yeah, the funny cancels out the mean, darlin' ...

I never let the rabbit out (nor the mouse), but I once did an entire presentation with a world-class gaping fly. I mean, all they were seeing was briefs, so no real biggie (and your story? not so much with the briefs? And lots of seeing going on?). Seriously, dude .. you're already in for a penny on this story - go for it. Be embarrassed. We'll laugh at you. That's a good thing.
 
I wouldn't have said a word. But I probably would have started giggling. If you would have said something, I imagine his embarrassment would have been even worse than when he exited and shortly thereafter realized he was frontal mooning the entire BART.
 
nah, i would not have said anything either.

once I was with another vet at a farm and the farmers "barn door was open"...neither of us said anything but when we got back into the truck we laughed our fool heads off, particularlly because who knew this guy would be the silk boxer kinda guy?

and i mailed your picture yesterday
 
I promise you, if the lab coat got the hot girl, he SO didn't care about some dumb ol' zipper.
 
Something like this actually happened to me once. I was on a crowded train in Japan from the city to the suburbs and I had my skirt tucked into the back of my pantyhose.

About twenty minutes in, this old man jabs me in the shoulder. Realizing I'm foreign, he makes no attempt to commicate save to grunt and jab his finger in the air towards the general vicinity of my ass.

I had probably been walking around like that for hours.
 
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