Saturday, September 16, 2006

 

On the Road Again

I once again find myself in an airport. This time, in an effort to avoid panic attacks and awkward moments (see below), I am beginning this trip in the airport bar with a Bloody Mary. In fact, make mine a double. I didn't even have to ask. I must have had that - "Look, I have just finished a week long marathon of non-stop family who commented on every sip of alcohol I consumed and every moment I spent on the internet and I need some motherf'in booze this instant" - look on my face because when I ordered, the waitress immediately half-asked/half-stated, "double for two dollars more". To which I emphatically replied,"YES! Can I start a tab?" And the rushed, run-on, pressured feeling of this last paragraph is exactly how my thoughts are racing so be glad you're not actually sitting next to me making the mistake of saying, "Nice day, isn't it?"

We used to say that my mother liked to arrive at the airport before the terrorists. This, understandably, is no longer so funny. So let's just say that I'm here at RDU more than 2 hours before my flight leaves. A short connector to Atlanta leaves me with a 4 hour layover there. Clearly, I did not book this flight. At any rate, if you have my number and feel like giving me a call, I have lots of spare time. You can even put your dog/kid/imaginary friend on the phone and have me say, "Hi!". Then you can tell me how fuckin' funny it is when they look at the phone all confused but don't make any noise. Glad to make you happy while I waste some wireless minutes.

On second thought, maybe you better let me get this first drink down first. I sound like one cranky bitch.

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