Friday, September 29, 2006
IsThere A Pro Shuffleboard Tour?
The real reason I was able to appreciate the moon, however, was because I was ensconced in the quiet, climate-controlled luxury of a Toyota Avalon. Yes, that’s right. I own a 4-door sedan. It is my very first "adult" car. Unless you count my first car (a 2-door 1982 Toyota Corolla with well over 100,000 miles on it when I took possession) as a mature choice. And o.k., o.k. There was that one regrettable period with a Volvo station wagon during which all my friends would clamor, “Hey, mom! Mom! Can we get ice cream after soccer practice?” whenever I was the designated driver. But other than that, all my cars have had off-road potential and some level of "indie cred". I NEVER THOUGHT I’D OWN A SEDAN!
Of all the cars I’ve loved before, the last one – a Jeep Wrangler – fit me best. The top was rarely up on it (and yes, I got rained on countless times). I’d drive it into work with a fleece jacket and a ski cap on, stereo blaring GnR. I’d drive home in a t-shirt with my hair flying everywhere, Godsmack blaring. It went 4wheeling in 29 Palms, the Mojave desert, and a few other places it probably wasn;t invited, with Lynnard Skynnard blaring. I was Little Miss HotShit with my hair on fire. Then, I spent 3 winter months in Seattle and drove back and forth up the I-5 in said Jeep – a vehicle not well suited to long distance travel and/or rainy climates. Shortly after I arrived back in San Diego, I was at the Toyota dealership demanding a car with a trunk in which I could leave my golf clubs. Enter the Avalon.
I still miss the Jeep. But it was new. It lacked character that can only be earned with some serious mileage. I realized I don’t need a Jeep that costs a shit-ton of money and has less miles on it than I do. What I need is an old $2000 Jeep and a cute guy who can fix it with some antifreeze and a roll of duct tape.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Happy Birthday, Amanda B.!
Quotes in honor of your birthday...
“Well, I hope you don't smoke pork fat cause I think that increases the health hazard by a factor of at least 2...”
“I have a feeling that Amanda would LOVE to see someone grease themselves up and ride an electric bull. But there isn't one in my area, so I'm leaving this idea open to others. Bucky?”
“Hold your left leg and right arm up in the air, put your right foot on the red dot and your left hand on the goat…”
...Happy quotes for Miss Amanda B. on her very most happiest of birthdays. Somewhere, there is a youtube video of a talking chicken that can play tic-tac-toe squawking “Fascists suck!”. I just can’t seem to get it posted.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
MUST, MUST, MUST!
ADDENDUM: For those of you who are reading via bloglines, etc...For those of you, like me, who can't figure out the links on the left...for those of you just to f'in lazy to go there...Here's the link. AWESOME NATALIE DEE
On the Road Again
We used to say that my mother liked to arrive at the airport before the terrorists. This, understandably, is no longer so funny. So let's just say that I'm here at RDU more than 2 hours before my flight leaves. A short connector to Atlanta leaves me with a 4 hour layover there. Clearly, I did not book this flight. At any rate, if you have my number and feel like giving me a call, I have lots of spare time. You can even put your dog/kid/imaginary friend on the phone and have me say, "Hi!". Then you can tell me how fuckin' funny it is when they look at the phone all confused but don't make any noise. Glad to make you happy while I waste some wireless minutes.
On second thought, maybe you better let me get this first drink down first. I sound like one cranky bitch.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Awkward Moments in Air Travel
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Dude, Where's My G-mail?
p.s. Having a grand old time in North Carolina. Have turned trip into a kind of white-trash adventure vacation. Think "The SPA at Dollywood" only with much less cleavage.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Fire Marshal Stampy
So if you have a business trip or family comittment to attend to, this is your weekend. I can't promise anything for the return trip. I've got a box of Ritz crackers just begging for some company.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
p.s. If you like today's strip, go back a few to the "insult-o-rama" strip. Still crying inside over that one.
p.p.s. If I ever really get some stones and start posting what I really think, I might have to ask if I can use "no limits, no knuckles" as my new site address.