Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Wish List Wednesday - Inaugural List
WISH LIST FOR 31 MAY 06
1. A fez
2. An actual "Dogs Playing Poker" oil painting
3. To find a way to introduce the word "antimacassar" into my daily conversation. Also, to know under what circumstances I might need words that rhyme with antimacassar. Or, better yet, for someone to send me a poem with the word antimacassar in it. (Can you tell I like saying/typing this word?).
4. To own a roller derby team.
5. Delicate ankles.
6. A law requiring all cafes/coffee shops/coffee carts to have a line for REGULAR COFFEE. Nothing is more demoralizing at 6am than to realize that you are standing behind at least 6 different non-fat, extra hot, with whip specialty drink orders.
ADDENDUM 1: Just realized that I spelled it "antimaccasar" all three times. That rocks. Embarrassing problem now fixed.
ADDENDUM 2: Make sure you scroll down to the "Dancing Man" translation of antimacassar. I feel a dance coming on...An suggestions for songs?
Monday, May 29, 2006
Reason #72 That I’m Still Single
Admit it. You wish you were me.
Friday, May 26, 2006
I Am So Very Sad...
Alright, alright. So this picture was pre-squirrel – back when the livin’ was drunk and easy – but it kind of sums things up. That’s the Bobo’s Bronco aka “The Frog”. We are at the Pinnacles on the outskirts of Death Valley (just outside of Trona where the Marky Mark version of “Planet of the Apes” was filmed). We’re drinking beer from a local brewery that we’d drained from a keg into Tupperware pitchers to take with us. There was an awesome sunset and we were so happy and free.
So why think of this now. Well, this week I went to a work related dinner at the Hotel Del Coronado. Very swanky? Yes. But I always remember one particular weekend almost 4 years ago…
See, the Bobo was in the desert and Ah-sweep-ay was out of town. So Ruby and I decided to splurge and spend a night at the Del. We checked in and went straight to the bar. Several martinis later we went to dinner. A bottle of wine later we went back to the piano bar. Several more martinis later (and yes, my math is correct – remember, these livers had been in training) we finally went upstairs to crash. I sat on the floor to watch TV and fell asleep/passed out.
Ruby, as those of you who know her can attest, is OCD and was taking her usual pre-bed shower. When she came out, I was out cold and unwakeable. Despite this, I woke up comfortably on the furniture the next morning. “How did I get here? I don’t remember waking up,” I said. “You didn’t,” replied Ruby. See, OCD girl couldn’t stand to see her friend snoring on hotel carpeting. She called the front desk, amd asked them to send someone up to “help her move something”. When the bellman showed up, she pointed at me and asked him to put me on my bed – WHICH HE DID!!!. He kindly offered to call a doctor if necessary , but she pointed out that I was snoring comfortably. OH MY GOD!
When I was MORE THAN APPALLED the next AM, Ruby simply said, “Well, I couldn’t just let you sleep on the floor.” Oh, yeah. O.K.
But to this day, I can’t have a drink at the Del without wondering if any of the bellmen recognize me.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Dude, Where's My Post?
Saturday, May 20, 2006
I Am Half Irish, But Full-blooded Moron
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
What Cheeses Me Off
Hey buddy, it seems Jesus forgot to teach you any common courtesy. Fuck you very much.
p.s. Apparently I have some anger issues.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Crush Sherri's Head Wednesday
It's not safe anywhere anymore. (Especially if you give me red wine and a camera!)
Monday, May 08, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
This weekend, I had my first IRL blogger meeting - Sherri of the fire-red hair was kind enough to spend her Saturday sightseeing, eating, and drinking her way around Manhattan with me. It was awesome. We had a phenomenal time which I will post more on later. For now, I'll leave you with a picture from our ferry ride out to the Statue of Liberty.
Kind of makes you wonder how anyone else fit up on deck with us with all the wild hair we had between us. Apparently we had something working for us, because we were invited into the cockpit to meet the ferry captain and presented with passes to get inside the Statue (quite fortunate as we didn't know we needed reservations). A good time was had by all (not the ferry captain, you perverts - he was a gentleman). More details to follow. In the meantime, go cheer Sherri and her bruised ribs up with something nice.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
My Heart Aches...
Stampy’s Big Adventure – Part I/Day 2
We saw these Mojave Yuccas on the way out…
They look like they’re crowned with cauliflower when they bloom…
I almost face planted in this Mojave Mound Cactus getting this shot…
The mine and shafts are fenced off to prevent to the inquisitive moron from falling in…
On our way back, we decided to check out Cap Rock. Not only is this a popular climbing spot, but, according to a Rolling Stone article in the Gram scrapbook, is where Gram and Keith Richards used to scramble up and look for flying saucers. Also, Gram Parson’s body was stolen by his road manager and another guy and burned at the base of Cap Rock. Cool stuff, huh?
Then, to finish off the nature portion of our day, we went to the spot where the Mojave and Colorado deserts meet. It’s called the Ocotillo Cactus Garden, but it is actually full of Cholla cacti.
I had to take a picture of the creosote bush just because every time we came upon one I’d say, “One more wafer thin mint, Monsieur Creosote Bush?” and giggle.
After a quick change of clothing (the temp changes quickly in the high desert this time of year), we headed off to Pioneertown and Pappy and Harriet's Bar. During the day, this is one of my favorite places to hang out. The outdoor bar sees people hiking up or pulling up on horses, atv’s , and Harley’s.
Inside, the Thrift Store All-stars were playing. They were awesome. If you are ever in the area, check them out.
Finally, we ended up at the 29 Palms Inn for dinner. They have a very good restaurant near the pool. There was a trio playing there. Both Pappy and Harriet’s and 29 Palms Inn highlight what I love so much about the desert. One minute you’re driving down a dirt road, the next minute your listening to awesome live music and drinking bloody mary’s with tattooed bikers and hippies dancing like they’re at a Dead show. Love it!
In case you were wondering about the Tanya Tucker dream, we had watched Tuckerville on cable the night before. In it, Tanya bought her cleaning lady tickets to a Tim McGraw show for her birthday and took her backstage to meet Tim. While we were hiking out to the mine, I was thinking about what would happen if I ever met Keanu Reeves and we hit it off. Then I imagined us going to an opening or a premier. The press would be wondering, “Who is this plain Jane?” I would meet towering model-actresses who would look down at me imperiously. Then I thought, wait. Tanya Tucker has put on some weight and some years, and yet she still commands attention. Why? Her cleaning lady was just as cute. So maybe it’s all about attitude and confidence. Then, reality hit. I’m hiking through the desert thinking about Keanu and Tanya. So I shared this with Matilda who simply chuckled. Now that’s a good friend.
I Was Once a Little Old Italian Woman
Well, Kranki, I looked and looked for the other shot where the blue afghan and its fringed edges are draped gypsy like around my face. Unfortunately, this is the only one I could find. Here, I am dressed in my grandmother's wig and am wearing the afghan as a not-so-stylish skirt. At any rate, it should make Yoshicita feel better to know that even little humans get humiliated by the people in charge of taking care of them.
The beatific smile on my face, no doubt, means I have been bribed with meatballs and bad daytime television (I used to watch soaps with Nana). Is that how you get Yoshi to pose?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Stampy’s Excellent Adventure – Part I/Day 1
Last Saturday, I picked Waltzing Matilda up and we drove to Joshua Tree, California. Upon arrival, we headed immediately to the far end of the park, and began with the Forty-nine Palms oasis hike – an easy 4 mile warm-up.
The hike on the way in…
Some funky, bamboo type plant that we liked…
Colorful cacti that always remind me of Tribbles…
Realizing we hadn’t eaten anything but coffee and Australian red licorice, we headed ot my favorite café in the area – Crossroads Café – for a wonderful late lunch. Finally, it was time to check into our motel – The Joshua Tree Inn. This inn was the former crashpad of Gram Parsons, Emmylou Harris, and others. I’d booked Room 8 – the room Gram Parsons drank himself to death on tequila and heroin cocktails.
While we were fresh out of both tequila and heroin, we did have a rather large supply of red wine, chocolate, and more red licorice. The wind was howling, so we decided to hang out and read the journal in which people write notes to Gram, about Gram, and about Gram’s ghost. Our favorite entry on artistic merit was this one…
But the most entertaining was the one where some chick kept spelling “desert” as “dessert”. I have since decided that my travelogue will be titled “Lost In the Dessert (sic)”.
And for being bitchy, Gram's ghost paid us back by repeatedly disconnecting the chain that flushed the toilet, and by making me dream about Tanya Tucker (don't ask). The adventure continues...