I’m getting tired of saying all those things I say just to say “something”. You know what I mean? Like when someone asks me what made me want to be a doctor. The first couple times, I hoped it was one of those questions that people really didn’t want an answer to…you know…”How are you?” ”Fine thanks”. So I said, “I’m not really sure.” And they’d (they being the amorphous group of people who make me talk when I don’t want to talk) would say, “you must know”. So I’d give the stock “to help people” response. But they had to have more. “Is someone in your family a doctor?” “No.” “Were you sick/in the hospital when you were younger?” “No.” “Is it for the money?” “Are you shitting me?” So I would try to explain (which I won’t bore you with now) and came up with an answer which I repeated the next thousand times someone I didn’t know asked what made me tick (THEY are so nosy). Now it’s like a script. It has lost all meaning. And I can spew it verbatim – even after several pints of Guiness.
1. ”Do you prefer Sam or Samantha?” “Sam. Samantha usually means I’m in trouble.” (insert forced laugh here).
2. “By large, do you mean a grande or a venti?” “In a world of small, medium, and large, I want the biggest fucking coffee you’ve got.” (Insert nervous laugh here).
3. “It must be hard being a woman in orthopedic surgery.” (Not really a question but always said with that inquisitive rise in pitch at the end). “Actually, no. The line for the bathroom is always really short and I get applauded when I fart.” (Insert appalled silence here).
There are many more examples but now I’m annoying myself by trying to remember them. In order to keep from being trite, I’ll stop quoting my personal scripts. From now on, my answer will be “Fine, thanks.”