Wednesday, December 28, 2005
The Cheese Stands Alone
1. SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER - If they have an organization, I should be it's poster child. I can get cranky after a few consecutive cloudy days in San Diego, which makes Seattle in December my own personal sensory deprivation chamber. The days here are surprisingly short. The sun is not really up until almost 8:30 and it starts to go down around 3:30. When it gets dark here, it gets DARK. Even though I'm living downtown, this dark is like a moonless, cloudy night on an abandoned country road - spooky dark. No stars. I've fallen asleep on the couch post call and woken up at 5 o'clock. My god, I'm so confused. Is it 5pm? Should I get up and go to the gym? Is it 5am? Should I sleep another 15 minutes or take an extra long shower before work? Reportedly, it was nice during the scant daylight for the first several weeks I was here. Unfortunately, I was poaching in the microclimate of the hospital where it is always 70 degrees and flourescently lit. Now it has begun to rain. Daily. I've upped the working out, increased the caffeine, eaten tons of citrus fruit, bought another round of strange vitamins...I'm even researching tanning salons. (This is a no shit treatment for seasonal depression - some insurances even pay for it. Plus, I think my thighs look thinner when they're tan). My next move may be to actually order one of those light therapy contraptions. Unfortunately, they're ugly and expensive. Has anyone had any luck with them or will this be yet another one of "my most expensive mistakes ever"?
2. SEASONAL ASS DISORDER - There has been an endless supply of gourmet crap around the hospital over the holidays. Everyone brings homemade treats, edible gifts, and some stuff they obviously want to get out of their cabinets. Last week, there was even a giant pannetone on the front desk in the OR. Time is often in rare supply on operative days, and several of my colleagues seem to think that lunch is optional. These are probably the people who happily get up on time and have a hearty breakfast. Overachievers. In between cases, there is often little time to grab a bite to eat, so I usually keep my lab coat full of power bars. But oh how much better to have a homemade brownie, a hunk of macademia nut brittle, or a piece of baklava being sold "for a good cause". How's that for motivation - Calories for a Cause. Add in some hors d'ouerves at holiday gatherings, some dinners out with the parents, and my secret stash of nutella. What do you get? Fat Stampty. Now the other group I should belong to is the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Group. (I can't be their poster child. You know the camera adds five pounds.)
Add these axis I and axis III disorders together and you get a Stampy who's not feeling to good about herself right now. I feel like the cheese.
P.S. I know this comes from "The Farmer In the Dell", but I'd forgotten the lyrics and my less flexible adult mind wondered why a "cheese" was standing in any status, alone or not. I found the lyrics at the following website:
I tried to link it (thanks for the instructions Hanni) but I'm working on a Mac and Safari doesn't support that toolbar option. Thus, please copy and paste as necessary. Just be warned, this site doesn't just list the words but actually plays the music along as well. Over and over and over. If you ever wanted to cold cock Barney, this is not the site for you.
Nutella sounds awesome. Have never tried it though.
Here's a way to link if you don't have that blogger toolbar:
Be sure to include the "'s b/c it makes a difference.
Til next Shirley Temple!