Monday, November 07, 2005



Today is li'l Ruby's (aka squirrel nuts) second birthday. Her mama (Ruby I) is hosting her birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. To me, this is like a special day pass to hell - you get to see what it's like and feel the flames. Then you get to go home, do a shot of Jack, and hopefully get all the little hand shaped pizza sauce stains out of your overpriced jeans.

Unfortunately, I missed Squirrel Nuts first b'day party. Why? Because it was already planned and thus held at the house where I formerly lived. Let's introduce a new character into this plot. I like to call him "Asswipe" (pronounced Ah-sweep-ay). We broke up that summer and I moved out in June. His new (very young) girlfriend (soon to be fiancee, now wife) was the hostess. Her parents were even invited and flew in from the East Coast. I had not met her yet. Nor had I seen asswipe during the interim. It was too uncomfortable to walk into a house still decorated the way I had (except for that tacky IKEA couch and coffee table on the sun porch and the study which he painted charcoal grey - yuk!). I stayed away. I still regret missing it, but hey, its not like squirrel nuts remembers.

So what's this about payback you ask? Well, when I was little, my hippie aunt was always giving me these art project gifts like papier mache and decoupage (rated 8 and above but given to an energetic 5 year old). In the family spirit, I have purchased the little one a childrens art easel complete with chalkboard, magic erase board, and butcher paper on a roller. Just so it gets used, i have also purchased crayons, chalk, and dry erase markers. How does it go...mwahahaha. I stopped myself at the finger paints - but if the beer isn't on Ruby, Squirrel Nuts gets the paints for xmas.

To all of you in Georgia (you know who you are), did you ever think Ruby would be hosting a party with a rat (especially a rat that doesn't drink martinis)?

Thanks for the helpful info today. You are one cool lady. :D
Hey, I haven't survived a hurricane with two squirrels in the bathroom. Now that's cool.
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