Wednesday, November 16, 2005

 

Name That Tune I

So, I heard this old classic country song for the first time in decades the other day - "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden". Don't ask me why or how I heard it. Let's just say I was instantly impressed (in my maturity) at the rhyming of "jolly" and "melancholy". Here are the original lyrics as recorded by Miss Lynn Anderson forever ago...

I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine
There's gotta be a little rain some time
When you take you gotta give so live and let live
Or let go oh-whoa-whoa-whoa
I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden

I could promise you things like big diamond rings
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover
So you better think it over
Well if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter
But what would it matter
So smile for a while and let's be jolly
Love shouldn't be so melancholy
Come along and share the good times while we can

I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine
There's gotta be a little rain some time

[Brief Instrumental Interlude]

I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden

I could sing you a tune and promise you the moon
But if that's what it takes to hold you
I'd just as soon let you go
But there's one thing I want you to know
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out
And you know what I'm talkin' about
So smile for a while and let's be jolly
Love shouldn't be so melancholy
Come along and share the good times while we can

I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden
[Fade]
Along with the sunshine
There's gotta be a little rain some time

Now since that day, I've heard it again and again. Apparently it's been re-recorded by a newer Country star (Martina McBride). Now in the spirit of the Bobo (Ruby's husband), I've been making up new words to it. My latest version is...while I'm walking the dog and thinking of the poor flowers he's killilng with his voiding...

I beg your pardon, but I'm fertilizing your rose garden.
Along with the U-rine, there will be a little poop sometimes...

Still looking for a "jolly" and "melancholy" substitute. So here's my challenge to all the people who don't read this. What would your lyrics be? And Bobo, try to keep them only marginally offensive. Thanks from everyone.

(brief musical interlude)
(fade)

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