Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Medical Lampoon: Road Trip (Day Two cont'd)

…I had planned on sleeping in. Due to those early risers mentioned above (and a family of Eskimos who let their child swim in the pool at 6am) it was a tortured affair. Just as I was drifting off to sleep yet again, my cell phone rang. It was R-n-R. On day one of Hoochwatch, he had locked the dog in the apartment and himself out of the apartment. This is not without precedent. When we first moved to San Diego, we lived in a house in Pacific Beach with a horny black Labrador retriever named Hank who got carsick. R-n-R was taking him to the beach one day when he locked him in my car (i.e. dog and keys inside car, car running, R-n-R standing in driveway perplexed). I was an intern in the ICU getting my ass handed to me by some uptight attending when my pager went off. I ignored it. It went off again…and again, and again, and again. I had to call AAA (thanks for the membership mom) and explain the whole story. The phone rep laughed heartily and I’m sure asking me if the dog couldn’t just unlock the door made his day.

Once I’d safely put him in touch with an extra set of keys and once again braved the mini-shower, I charged back onto I-5. The rest of the drive progressed at (or, to be honest, 10 mph above) the speed limit. It was gorgeous. I went through the mountains in Northern California. Finally, at odometer marking 802 miles, I crossed into Oregon.

I spent the night in Ashland, Oregon at a colleague’s parents’ house. He had been doing this trauma training right before me, and we met there to exchange pagers, keys, etc. While I had not met his mother before, I’m sure I made a lasting impression. You see, I had been in the house for less than 5 minutes when I fell down their stairs. Fortunately I slid down them on my ass. While it was loud and dramatic, it was safe and less than spectacular. And I didn’t break the Thank You gift I brought them (which I was carrying and which was glass) – a selection of martini olives (sundried tomato stuffed and blue cheese stuffed) and some funky cocktail picks. Just to prove that there are still saints in this world, these kind people promptly made use of these in a round of vodka martinis. While it did nothing to improve my coordination, it did soothe my ego.

A glass of wine, a warm meal, and several embarrassing childhood stories about my colleague later, I finally got a good night’s sleep…

Your thankyou gifts make me happy in the pants.
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