Sunday, November 27, 2005

 

Cheap Motel Etiquette

Far be it from me to play Miss Manners, but there are some standard behaviors which have apparently not been passed on to some of my fellow travelers…

1. Motel Etiquette for Skeevy Men

If you are standing in the front office of a motel in the middle of nowhere after dark, don’t strike up conversation with obviously uncomfortable women who are traveling alone. If you must (and I once again emphasize that you shouldn’t), do not persist in trying to find out exactly where they are from or exactly where they are headed. Vague answers are vague for a reason.

If you should then pull up next to one of these women in the parking lot and it is obvious that you are both headed down the same dimly lit corridor, BACK OFF. Do not walk up right behind a single woman and pass behind here while she is opening her door. That’s just creepy (serial killer kind of creepy).

If you are going to go out and get drunk and then return home in the middle of the night, yelling, singing, and intoxicated arguments about taxation are all highly discouraged.

2. Motel Etiquette for the Early Riser

Should it really be necessary to get on the road at 4am, try carrying your luggage rather than rolling, dragging, or kicking it along the cement past other peoples windows.

If there are children with you, muzzle them until they get to the car. If you choose to let them talk after that, well, that’s your decision entirely.

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